It was awful of epic proportions.
Some hold this day sacred, while other's seem to completely dismiss it. In some of my relationships, this day was far less than sacred, while in other's, I was surprised beyond belief at the outpouring of love and even Mother's Day gifts. I also have to say that if I have any friend named Jessica, they've showed up to support and love me. Thanks to Jessica E, Jessica G and Jessica A for their neverending support and love, not just today, but all days. Jessica is a blessed name for me right now!
My mom gave me a priceless book of all the pictures of Rhiannon put together in a beautiful memory book.
I however found myself unable to even buy a Mother's Day card for my own mother because the second I walked into CVS to buy cards, "Rhiannon" started playing on the over head speaker. I WISH I was kidding. I almost ran out of there. I think my mom and grandma understood. I still felt bad. I just couldn't stand there reading cards while I heard "her song" over my head.
I don't have many eloquent words right now, so I think instead I'll post the words of wisdom of those that have gone before me. Not only do I agree with this post wholeheartedly, I love that it was written by a "non-mom". I can even add to this list of all the women we should support during the typical Mother's Day weekend. I know the weekend has now passed us, but I hope that for future weekends, this list is shared. I hope it's shared on Facebook, read by pastor's in churches, celebrated and understood by anyone who stumbles across it. It's not just a stillbirth feeling. It's a feeling that many of us have felt. The idea that Mother's Day isn't quite as easy or sweet as it should be due to the wide variety of circumstances that we all encounter. This day has been bittersweet for years. This year it was just different. Still sad. Just a different sad.
This post by a "non-mom" is titled an open letter to pastors. And I completely understand why pastors are the target audience. I've avoided church on Mother's Day for YEARS, after it became far too heartbreaking to endure year after year. This year was no different. My mom sent me this post and I posted it immediately on my Facebook page, so now I want to share it here. There are 3 points to her letter. Go here to read the rest.
2. Acknowledge the wide continuum of mothering.To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with youTo those who lost a child this year – we mourn with youTo those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate youTo those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with youTo those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need youTo those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with youTo those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with youTo those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with youTo those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experienceTo those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midstTo those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this dayTo those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to beTo those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex pathsTo those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with youTo those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with youTo those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heartAnd to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with youThis Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.